An essay on Troll Downvoting and its aspects.
Here's our goal:
Stay with a positive k/d Helpful/NotHelpful ratio! Remember, you're by yourself! Assistantances won't count towards your scorestreak!
Are you ready? Lock n load, it's show time.Step 1: STAYING AWAY FROM THE CONTAMINATION AREA
An useful tip, if you're reviewing your favorites animes is to start by those which are less popular. Series with a high number of viewers have a high chance of being stalked by downvoters. As soon as your review show up in the "Latest reviews" page or in the front page of the anime itself, IT WILL GET DOWNVOTED. Reviewing shows that are less popular can also result in a bad ratio. If you stay too long in the "Latest" page, you'll receive some random NotHelpful votes and will be burried in the reviews page, this way, you won't receive Helpful ones if your review gets out of range.
Step 2: RAIDS' TIME GRIDS AND RESPAWNS
Being aware of the common times of this zombies downvoters raids is crucial to maintain a good ratio.
Avoid high traffic periods such as 18:00~24:00 and 07:00~15:00 for the following time zones: US East Coast; US West Coast; Brazil coast; Brazil amazon; GMT; Panama; Australia; Alaska; Hawai; Singapure; China; Japan; France; Italy; Dinamark; Greenland (lots of trolls there); UK; Spain; Taiwan; Philippines; Russia. Recommended period for posting reviews: 17:24:12'134'' GMT-0
Be aware of downvoters respawns! After a raid passes by, there's a small period before the next one comes. If you manage to post your review during this period, and it gets OFF the "Latest" page BEFORE the next wave respawn. You're a lucky dude!
For accomplishing such a thing, use the following math: 
Step 3: DO NOT CRITICIZE AN TROLL REVIEWER
Do you know those guys who make a 4 line review saying your favorite anime is crap? You get that urge to say some really nasty things about his mother? AND YOU DO IT IN THE COMMENTS.
He might MOST LIKELY have other accounts so he'll get in a revenge spirit and will go to your reviews and will down vote every single one with his multiple accounts. See? Bad ideia!
Step 4: FANBOYISMA wild Fanboy appears! What will you do?
-Throw a pokeball
-Atack with SAND ATTACK
-Run
Fanboyism is another dangerous threat to reviewers. To avoid this kind of downvoters, you have two solutions in hand. The first one might be a little expensive:
FOR ONLY U$700 YOU RECIEVE IN YOUR HOME THE MAX FANBOY REPEL!! ~"Repelling wild fanboys since 1990"
TIRED OF FANBOYS? USE THE FANBOY REPEL(R) AND BE FREE TO GIVE THE SCORE YOU WANT! YOU THINK 'ONE PIECE' IS CRAP? NO PROBLEM! USE THE 'ULTRA REPEL' AND YOU CAN WRITE OVER 76543 CHARACTERS FANBOY FREE! ~Free shipping if you purchase 5 or more! Tax free!~ (+52)[64]0800-807-604
The second solution is 4FREE, but have some side effects... It's recomended to use just as last resort. See the example bellow:
SAO IS DA BEST ANIME EVEEEERR!!!11!1!ONE!!!11!!1! I LUV THIS ANIME CUZ IT'S GREAT!1!!1! THE STORY IS JUST <3!! DOKI DOKI!!11! KAWAIII!!111!!! KIRINO S2!!1! MASTERPIECY!1!!11!1 100000/10000
The excessive use of this alternative may lead into serious irreversible brain damage. Use at your own risk.
Step 5: DOWNVOTE YOURSELF Here's where the masochism comes into play. Random intel for you: Reviews that happen to reach the first page and are NOT from 2007~2010 will doubtless get down voted. Why? I dunno. Neither Stephen Halking does. Maybe trolls have a review UAV so they can track it...
So, I did an marvelous job, a lot of people found my review Helpful and I finally get to the first page, and you're telling me to downvote myself? YES!! I am!! If you stay as the 3rd of 4th review the downvoters won't spot you! and you'll be able to maintain an good not so bad ratio.
Step 6: REVIEW SERIES WHEN JUST 1 EPISODE IS OUT OR BEFORE THEY EVEN AIRThis is the best way to befriend with Troll Downvoters! They will see you as one of them and will accept you into their group! You'll have lots of Helpful votes! YOLO!11!!!1!
(Seriously man, don't do it.)Step 7: SELF-ESTEEM AND DUFF BEER(R)
Always remember, you're wonderful and unique. You're perfect the way you are, you don't need others opinions. If your review get 0 helpful votes and 10 NotHelpful ones, don't leave the game lobby be sad! Please. Don't go for drugs neither! We still love you!
Now... if you get 0 Helpful and TONS of NotHelpful ones like this poor guy here:
(and I thought his review was good)
Congratz!! You've unlocked a secret achievement! It will appear in your profile!! Now go brag it to your PSN friends.
Now, if you're a downvoter and somehow you were reading this by reasons you can barely understand, I'm sorry to inform a giant flying ACME anvil will fall from the skies right into your face. You won't die! After a few months recovering from the physical and psychological trauma, you'll get better and someone will offer you a nice trip in a nice boat into some nice rivers in Netherlands. You'll accept it and... ASAKURA WILL STAB YOU TO DEATH!!MUAHAHAHAHAHAH
(though it would be Kotonoha didn't you? HAW-HAW)
daa rammm dada ramm ramm, daram ram ram daaa dãããã da ramm daa da ram ram daraaa daramm dãã da ram, DARARAM RÃÃÃ, DARAM DA RAM! DARAM RAMRAM RAM RAM RAM daramramrá daram daram da ram daram da ram, daram dã da rará, daram RAM RAM RAM.
(^ random stuff. Leave a comment if you recognize the song. TIP: Disney movie)
Thx for reading! lol had so much fun writing this. Please leave a comment if you liked.~THIS IS FOR ENTERTAINMENT ONLY. DO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY~