The humor in my reviews is supposed to be an extension of the humor in works such as Fap Days, or something completely new. In two of my reviews, the humor was literally taken right out of Fap Days. For this reason, I deleted both of them. If you want to reread them or missed reading them the first time, you can find them in this blog entry.
Heisei Jogakuen Kagai Lesson
During middle school, I had a very strange teacher called Papa Zuch. He always wore a thirties trench coat and he lived in his van located right outside the school. Papa Zuch doesn't wear that trench coat just for show. He's the real deal. Tape is attached to the inside of his trench coat. Occasionally, Papa Zuch hides out in a student's locker. When the student opens his/her locker, Papa Zuch jumps out and traps the student within his trench coat like a venus flytrap. He then immediately heads for his van. He runs with his body tilting at a 90 degree angle and his arms crossed. He appears to be wrestling with his body. Whatever was in his trench coat clearly didn't want to be in there. When he's reached his van, he quickly opens its backdoors and empties out the student in his trench coat into the van. Some students have caught a glimpse of this bizarre occurrence and have seen something flail out of his trench coat. Papa Zuch shuts the doors too fast for anyone to get a detailed glimpse though. He then enters his van and quickly drives out of the school parking lot. No one really knows where Papa Zuch goes to from there though. Months later, the student returns like nothing happened. This is because the student has completely forgotten what happened to them. Whatever Papa Zuch may've done to him/her, the student has no recollection of it whatsoever. Papa Zuch may’ve been a pedophile. Actually scratch that, the world’s greatest pedophile. Despite being a pedophile, he was kind enough to erase the memory of his victims to avoid traumatizing them. Is this a rare trait to see in a pedophile? Yes. Does this justify what he did? Not at all. School Girl Special Lesson is about a girl named Nakamura who finds herself at school on a Sunday. She thought she was there to do work but she was horribly mistaken. Mr. Sorimachi, her teacher, forces her to perform several sexual activities. The worst part about it is Nakamura's graduation depends on these so called lessons. If she doesn't do what her depraved teacher wants her to do, she has no chance of graduating. The fact that Papa Zuch and Mr. Sorimachi are teachers and do this sort of thing really makes you question whether or not your should trust your teachers. They may seem like they’re trying to help you but who knows what kind of ulterior motives they may have. What should a good teacher look like? Eikichi Onizuka. He may’ve been a pervert but he doesn’t go around molesting his students. Instead he did his best to help them. His methods of teaching may’ve been questionable but they led him to become the greatest teacher in Japan. Papa Zuch and Mr. Sorimachi have even more questionable methods of teaching. Unlike Onizuka’s methods, these methods serve no greater purpose than for providing pleasure. What is man's greatest flaw? If I learned anything from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, it’s how easily man is corrupted. Teaching a bunch of kids for all these years must’ve been a tedious task. It wouldn’t have been surprising if one day the thought, “I deserve a reward for all of my hard work,” goes through a teacher's head. For bastards like Papa Zuch and Mr. Sorimachi, underage punani might be the reward they’re looking for. If it wasn't for Karl Marx's The Punani Theory, which states punani is at its prime between the ages of 9 and 14, perhaps pedophiles would have never come into existence. It was bad enough he caused the cold war but he had to cause pedophilia as well. Karl Marx is the real Hitler. The man who annihilated the Jews should be renamed to something else. I like to believe people are generally good but this anime suggests the opposite; Thomas Hobbes’ ideas are very apparent here. With that being said, the reader should understand this is a very cynical piece of work. It's because of this fact that this anime is unlikely to appeal to a wide audience. For some though, especially those with a desperate craving for a look into the dark side of humanity, School Girl Special Lesson will be exactly what they're looking for.
Okusama wa Mahou Tsukai
When I was younger, I didn't have the most normal friends. One of them was an Asian named Shinji. Shinji had a strange fetish no one else had. He likes to take off all of his clothes, then cover himself up in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending he's a worm. This happened randomly and he had no control over it. Shinji had to take heavy counseling because of this fetish. Another friend I had was an African American named Craig. Like Shinji, Craig also had an odd fetish. He would always bring his British butler with him to school. Whenever he felt stressed, he would pull down his butler's pants and starts to squeeze his butler's balls. The butler made a random remark every time he reached his climax. "Master, you are breaking my scrotum,""If this were a show, it would be called breaking balls," or sometimes even, "Oh heavens! I'm not cleaning that up." Anastasia has one thing in common with Shinji and Craig, all three of them have an odd fetish. Anastasia, being a witch, requires semen to get through the day. She has more in common with Craig than with Shinji though. Most people need to pleasure themselves but these two have to pleasure others. Society wouldn't look at these three in a positive way. Many would probably be disgusted by their strange actions. Who knows what kind of assumptions people may make about them. Some may think Craig's a homosexual, some may think Shinji's on pot, and some may think Anastasia's a nymphomaniac. It's wrong for people to think this way though. You have to take into account the fact that they have no control over what they do. If Shinji has no control over it, why the hell does he need counseling? Craig? He's just another kid trying to cope with the stress in his life. Sure, making his butler come may be an odd way to do it but it works. As for Anastasia, if she doesn't get a daily fix of semen, then she just can't function properly. If these three deserve anything, it's sympathy. Oku-sama wa Mahou Tsukai is a touching story that has a clear and important message about the human condition. We need to stop judging people and accept them for who they are, no matter what abnormalities they may have. Shinji's pubes may turn all spiky and golden when he starts whacking it but that doesn't mean we should condemn him for it.
During middle school, I had a very strange teacher called Papa Zuch. He always wore a thirties trench coat and he lived in his van located right outside the school. Papa Zuch doesn't wear that trench coat just for show. He's the real deal. Tape is attached to the inside of his trench coat. Occasionally, Papa Zuch hides out in a student's locker. When the student opens his/her locker, Papa Zuch jumps out and traps the student within his trench coat like a venus flytrap. He then immediately heads for his van. He runs with his body tilting at a 90 degree angle and his arms crossed. He appears to be wrestling with his body. Whatever was in his trench coat clearly didn't want to be in there. When he's reached his van, he quickly opens its backdoors and empties out the student in his trench coat into the van. Some students have caught a glimpse of this bizarre occurrence and have seen something flail out of his trench coat. Papa Zuch shuts the doors too fast for anyone to get a detailed glimpse though. He then enters his van and quickly drives out of the school parking lot. No one really knows where Papa Zuch goes to from there though. Months later, the student returns like nothing happened. This is because the student has completely forgotten what happened to them. Whatever Papa Zuch may've done to him/her, the student has no recollection of it whatsoever. Papa Zuch may’ve been a pedophile. Actually scratch that, the world’s greatest pedophile. Despite being a pedophile, he was kind enough to erase the memory of his victims to avoid traumatizing them. Is this a rare trait to see in a pedophile? Yes. Does this justify what he did? Not at all. School Girl Special Lesson is about a girl named Nakamura who finds herself at school on a Sunday. She thought she was there to do work but she was horribly mistaken. Mr. Sorimachi, her teacher, forces her to perform several sexual activities. The worst part about it is Nakamura's graduation depends on these so called lessons. If she doesn't do what her depraved teacher wants her to do, she has no chance of graduating. The fact that Papa Zuch and Mr. Sorimachi are teachers and do this sort of thing really makes you question whether or not your should trust your teachers. They may seem like they’re trying to help you but who knows what kind of ulterior motives they may have. What should a good teacher look like? Eikichi Onizuka. He may’ve been a pervert but he doesn’t go around molesting his students. Instead he did his best to help them. His methods of teaching may’ve been questionable but they led him to become the greatest teacher in Japan. Papa Zuch and Mr. Sorimachi have even more questionable methods of teaching. Unlike Onizuka’s methods, these methods serve no greater purpose than for providing pleasure. What is man's greatest flaw? If I learned anything from Shakespeare’s Macbeth, it’s how easily man is corrupted. Teaching a bunch of kids for all these years must’ve been a tedious task. It wouldn’t have been surprising if one day the thought, “I deserve a reward for all of my hard work,” goes through a teacher's head. For bastards like Papa Zuch and Mr. Sorimachi, underage punani might be the reward they’re looking for. If it wasn't for Karl Marx's The Punani Theory, which states punani is at its prime between the ages of 9 and 14, perhaps pedophiles would have never come into existence. It was bad enough he caused the cold war but he had to cause pedophilia as well. Karl Marx is the real Hitler. The man who annihilated the Jews should be renamed to something else. I like to believe people are generally good but this anime suggests the opposite; Thomas Hobbes’ ideas are very apparent here. With that being said, the reader should understand this is a very cynical piece of work. It's because of this fact that this anime is unlikely to appeal to a wide audience. For some though, especially those with a desperate craving for a look into the dark side of humanity, School Girl Special Lesson will be exactly what they're looking for.
When I was younger, I didn't have the most normal friends. One of them was an Asian named Shinji. Shinji had a strange fetish no one else had. He likes to take off all of his clothes, then cover himself up in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending he's a worm. This happened randomly and he had no control over it. Shinji had to take heavy counseling because of this fetish. Another friend I had was an African American named Craig. Like Shinji, Craig also had an odd fetish. He would always bring his British butler with him to school. Whenever he felt stressed, he would pull down his butler's pants and starts to squeeze his butler's balls. The butler made a random remark every time he reached his climax. "Master, you are breaking my scrotum,""If this were a show, it would be called breaking balls," or sometimes even, "Oh heavens! I'm not cleaning that up." Anastasia has one thing in common with Shinji and Craig, all three of them have an odd fetish. Anastasia, being a witch, requires semen to get through the day. She has more in common with Craig than with Shinji though. Most people need to pleasure themselves but these two have to pleasure others. Society wouldn't look at these three in a positive way. Many would probably be disgusted by their strange actions. Who knows what kind of assumptions people may make about them. Some may think Craig's a homosexual, some may think Shinji's on pot, and some may think Anastasia's a nymphomaniac. It's wrong for people to think this way though. You have to take into account the fact that they have no control over what they do. If Shinji has no control over it, why the hell does he need counseling? Craig? He's just another kid trying to cope with the stress in his life. Sure, making his butler come may be an odd way to do it but it works. As for Anastasia, if she doesn't get a daily fix of semen, then she just can't function properly. If these three deserve anything, it's sympathy. Oku-sama wa Mahou Tsukai is a touching story that has a clear and important message about the human condition. We need to stop judging people and accept them for who they are, no matter what abnormalities they may have. Shinji's pubes may turn all spiky and golden when he starts whacking it but that doesn't mean we should condemn him for it.
